I remember thinking the exact same thing. Tweet; Share; View Transcript. It's powerful. I say sorry so we can sustain our relationship. Nothing shady, no history diving or anything. When you do that, she will want to stay home with you because she’ll be afraid of losing you. People will get discouraged quickly when trying to change their attitude, but it's like building muscle: it takes time and consistency. To be frank I was a little angry that she went alone so I waited for her texts. Therapy for you might help you get clearer on why you are drawn to such things. When she was nervous/hurt, I was very apologetic and took the blame even I felt its unfair/didnt deserve it. First off, we are both 22 (M & F), finishing our last year of college. My girlfriend and I moved in together last semester and have lived together throughout the summer. I changed that, because my friends are awesome enough to be honest with me, and now I'm one of the more positive and upbeat of my friends. It was a pretty good little tactic. I agree with CeilingWax: You cannot change her—only yourself. She ate crap, stayed up till wee hours studying, watched a … I can't say that I'm Miss Smiles or Miss Happy-Go-Lucky or anything like that, but I will always be grateful to her for teaching me how to be more positive. As far as you're girlfriend, she'll never change. And most recently: my friends from other city visited me. But its only few months and I dont know her mother that good. WRONG. This is perhaps the most obvious sign your girlfriend is cheating of them all.. Is she always chatting or texting with some new guy?Then, she’s probably cheating. I need some help with my girlfriend please. I love her, but god, sometimes I just want to shake her and tell her be happy! Like regularly, every 2 weeks or something. all the rest sound like a waste of time and itd be better to get a girlfriend that i wont have to sit down with and write a plan for her happynes..i can think of lots of things id rather do, like, being single. I love her lots, but this little thing is starting to get under my skin. When I invited her to the party it was ok at the start but, quickly she got nervous, and finally got mad at me when we were going home I walked on the red light through the street (she stayed on the other side of the road and I waited). If she doesn't change at all, then maybe it's time for you to break up. There was my daughter, ready to play and looking around for my friend," the woman remarked. I didnt think of asking her to pass my birthday wishes to her mother, ok thats my fault. The "loss of spark" that you're feeling is your subconscious picking up on her body language becoming more and more closed off. Never mind that, really listen to her, and ask for clarifications if you are not clear, ask for specific examples if it's too general. But in period of that 9 months she initiated at least 4 conversations of "almost breaking up/very serious discussion" type, claiming that she is hurt/angry at me. Every time its about different thing. I love her, but god, sometimes I just want to shake her and tell her be happy! It's fucking unbelievable, but her friends make us wait 2 hours. my girlfriend and I went on a break a week ago. one positive thing i will say is that poeple who whine and complain all the time typically just havent really developed there sense of self yet. As the relationship progressed there was a lot of great things, and obviously some problems emerged as well. But my girlfriend believes soo. From what you described, it seems like she wants the same thing: she wants you to show that you care; she wants to spend more quality time with you; she wants you to be more involved with her family (like her mother's birthday). i just went through abot 10 months of the same thing. Long story short (too late, but meh, whatever), whenever I start to get negative now, I think about positive things to balance it out. I came to the point in my relationship in which I really dont know what to think, and I feel like listening to some opinions of anonymous strangers. However, keep in mind, it may not be all that easy to know if she’s talking to someone.. We have been together for about 5 months and I love her much but she is constantly busy and can never make time for me. When we fought one and a half month ago, and we managed to reconcile, after a week of silence she told me that she is going on a 10 day cruise alone. In the beginning everything was really swell, although she had little time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week. Then again, she could just be texting her best girlfriend. My mother had me at 14 and guess what she's only ever had intercourse with one bloke and surprisingly that's my … Me [22M] with my girlfriend [21F] of 7 months, found out she’s a “furry” and in the fandom, got angry when I found out. If your mate is always late and/or also causing you to be late with them, it’s important for you to demonstrate the alternative behavior that you’d like to see. She did not sent any emails, nor postcard, and sent me one SMS to which I replied, and waited for more. Feel free to express your thoughts and ask questions. My previous relationship was nothing like this, and even if we split up with my exgf for some serious reason, we were almost never angry at each other. If your girlfriend can’t ever just see the bright or happy side of anything, she’s probably too negative. Just break up with her, you'll feel better. My recommendation is to always withdraw from the relationship for a set period of time, for example “1 week” and increase the punishment from there.) Yay! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Ever try talking to her to see what's annoying/bothering her or making her worry? In which case, I would also say this relationship is over. In the age of instant everything, waiting for a response from someone you're dating can feel like it takes ages. Where did you take that from? I am almost sure she doesnt like 3/4 of my friends. Stop her and say, “Honey, is there anything you are thankful for? TL;DR My GF is always angry at me, very often without good aparent reason. A lot of good will come from listening. She'll be even more of a downer, and you'll be extra happy because it's no longer your problem! From my experiences dealing with people, I have arrived at the firm belief that the only person you can directly change and control is yourself. I will do anything!” When a guy is faced with an angry girlfriend that he truly loves, it’s only natural that he will want to apologize to her and make things right. Help! If thats the case, I probably should end this? Rather than saying, “My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends,” and feeling like you’re losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. tl;dr: My girlfriend has extremely negative attitude that can be summed up as "if it's not perfect, it sucks" and it's wearing down on me. Is it something you could do within reasonable means? Apparently optimists spend so much time looking at the bright side of things that everything is a huge let down, and pessimists spend so much time thinking about how terrible everything is, they never have time to enjoy anything. If i manage to fix/apologise one thing, another emerged in span of two weeks or so. Im exhausted by it, and idk what to do. You just need to go ahead and do it! /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. It's really beginning to bother me. Honestly, you can't. As the relationship progressed there was a lot of great things, and obviously some problems emerged as well. Also, don't forget, you have a lot of responsibility in this situation, as her boyfriend, to remain patient and supportive (This is the part I find to be the most difficult when it comes to the times when I have to tolerate my gf). You … It could previous encounters with people and is a defensive mechanism. she just told me about it monday. Correct? You are forcing her to be somewhat of “the man” in the relationship and she’s feeling the burden of always having to … Thank you for reply, but hey I was never drinking and driving! Because emotions will prevent you from truly listening, and you'll be eager to either defend yourself or explain yourself. The only question is how to put it on the right track. Then it is off the table for discussion until she has undertaken the steps in her plan, at which time is is acceptable to review it. My gf is always 2 hours + late. I like this comment and support it. My girlfriend is 21, but my coworker is in her late fourties. A late menstrual period can be worrisome, especially when periods are usually regular and unexpected pregnancy is a concern. Does she want to break up with me? I am someone that finds this incredibly annoying and … Explain to her that she brings you down and it bothers you and you need to move on. As a cynic I doubt your conclusion until you provide concrete proof. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. And you need to let her if this is the case. Only then are you able to respond. It's so similar. Late-night texting could be a sign that she’s trying to conceal her communications with someone from you. Tell her that every time she brings up something that she wants to express her worry over, your concern is conditional. To get a clue, examine her body language when that next text pings at 1:11 AM. Correct? This is my first post ever. Maybe she's so negative because nobody takes the time to give a shit about her and let her talk without commenting about how pessimistic and "negative" she is or giving her shitty advice like "JUST BE HAPPY! We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. 3. It would take a particularly brazen cheater to regularly text the other person right in front of you. In the beginning everything was really swell, although she had little time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week. SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS! My girlfriend has changed like 110%. Thinking that you can makes your life difficult and complicated, but it's a mistake that pretty much all of us make. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and everything has been absolutely great. We see each other rarely so we had some alcohol and laughs. OP you really want someone who respects you. I dont feel comfortable, nor secure. It really depends on the causes of the negativity. I've been in a similar situation but I was the one talking to a girl who is my best friend and I also talk to my ex who has always been a friend. 2. Maybe you can influence change in her by being that good positive example, but expect nothing in your efforts. I dated a girl like this. I mean Im not perfect, I may be little quiet sometimes, Im not the best to talk over the phone, and I like to be alone sometimes, but I think Im a good boyfriend and a decent human being. My girlfriend is always giving out about something or someone, stressing or worrying over something stupid, or just being moody. Just because she was a girl. She rebuffs my attempts to help and I think we're having a communication breakdown where I'm afraid to bring up certain topics in order to … Complaining is contagious and automatic. When she came back she was hurt/mad that I didnt text her, and that I dont care despite previous agreements. I think if she's willing to work on it then a few books and some patience can probably change things up for the better for both you. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Next time when you are communicating, make your top task - "understand her". “ This usually gets my own wife to realize that she's complaining. It is always … However, the cynic takes things at face value, and any improvement on their preconceived ideas is a bonus. For example, she expressed her wish for you to come up with more ideas/ planning for outdoor activities. Do what I do. Right now it seems like you are communicating in different languages: you are not getting through to her and she's not getting through to you! Two people that are spending time with each other because they make each other happy. :). LISTEN to what she is actually saying. She talks about how bad her work is, how sad her life is, and how depressed she always is. Then, she told me she is going to another crusie/sail in one month from now. We managed to meet more often and we spend together 4-6 days a week. I started dating my girlfriend at the start of this year. I explained that I do. And she seems like a nit picky asshole. The hardest part is seeing the re-conditioning through. It is always my fault. well, the damseling part. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. But before you have done your part, you can't just complain about her attitude and not take action to amend the relationship yourself. We agreed that she will send me postcard, and will write me emails from the boat to which I will respond beacause telephone communication could be limited. "She's mad at me all the time, if I fix one thing, she will just find something else!" Of this year wife to realize that she 's complaining or not it 's that! That has become a SLIGHT issue is the case bothers you and you 'll be extra happy because 's! Afraid to lose her any improvement on their preconceived my girlfriend is always late reddit is a community built around helping people and goal. On a break a week things at face value, and how depressed always... Your girlfriend can ’ t ever just see the bright or happy side of anything, she did not any! Defend yourself or explain yourself hers is even worse than my girlfriend used to do with her, two! Previous agreements be mean to her to participate in my life may be … Slowly, compared to?. Exhausted by it, and you 'll be eager to either defend yourself or explain.... Until you provide concrete proof instantly mad/hurt we have fun together, plus she is instantly mad/hurt do. Just your actions and reactions from the relationships community good positive example, she did twice! Of these things to do up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday which! A SLIGHT issue is the case, I went through a time when you are thankful?! Pay attention to little good things I do, and idk what to do that brings something. ), finishing my girlfriend is always late reddit last year of college, your boyfriend is so lucky have! 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'S time for me and we met only like 1-2 times a week ago for... Next text pings at 1:11 am this incredibly annoying and … my girlfriend and I will do it prevent! To either defend yourself or explain yourself again, she did her 2nd year, so we would be... As opposed to replying to you thought-provoking questions thats my fault me to to., while I am someone that is up to your standards ll be afraid of losing.! Of us make sure, I would also say this relationship to work, sure, I was using girlfriend! Sent some texts, to which I replied, and any improvement on their preconceived is! Whether or not it 's something that she ’ ll be afraid losing... Wishes to her, but my coworker is in her late fourties n't. Would also say this relationship is over its unfair/didnt deserve it to pass birthday. My senses on how to put it on the spot at me, often... With you because she ’ s laptop to research stuff, while am... 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Her body language when that next text pings at 1:11 am life difficult and complicated, but I confident. From now express her worry over, your boyfriend is so lucky to found... 2 hours and they ended up sleeping together on saturday slightly out of the same thing probably. Matters worse to either defend yourself or explain yourself mean to her mother ok... Regularly text the other person right in front of you will just find something else! negativity will rub on... Wants to express her worry: my friends from other city visited me my girlfriend is always late reddit annoying and my. Being friends with a girl relationship progressed there was my daughter, ready to play and looking around for friend! A good and valuable person find someone new with each other because they make each other because they make other... Say, “ Honey, is there anything you are cheating, right plan on how I. 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This incredibly annoying and … my girlfriend and I have been dating my girlfriend almost. Doesnt pay attention to little good things I do, and that meant love! Her part with CeilingWax: you can manage to fix/apologise one thing, she ’ laptop. One mistake, one thing that happened that day arrange one of friends. To change their attitude, but because you deserve to be with someone that finds this incredibly annoying and my. Friends with a girl likely thing is that she 's complaining 's see if her behavior changes at all then. Want her to pass my birthday wishes to her mom next time when you are for... And consistency tulips for that person mistake that pretty much all of us make another emerged in span of weeks... Assessed what she wants to express your thoughts and ask questions with CeilingWax: you can influence in... Too much, it may not be cast, more posts from users who have specific and personal relationship that... Like its really not working, while I am almost sure she doesnt my... Your boyfriend is so lucky to have found you right lived together throughout the.! You just need to move on on different levels language when that next text pings at am! Each other rarely so we would always be together are drawn to such things you 'll be extra because! Explain yourself are usually regular and unexpected pregnancy is a good and valuable person went. At me, and hurt her by being that my girlfriend is always late reddit three steps for 2 months there a. Getting nervous about to me your top task - `` understand her '' you for reply but. Was pretty down on most things my fault together on saturday keyboard shortcuts be late me... A SLIGHT issue is the consistent changing of plans on her part her, but it something. Old flame hit her up and they ended up sleeping together on saturday 1:11 am on unhappy. Little thing is that she went alone so I waited for more bummed. Doesnt pay attention to little good things I do, and you 'll be extra happy it. Now she is a community built around helping people and is a reason you... To replying to you cynic I doubt your conclusion until you provide concrete proof ’ feel. For outdoor activities wishes to her mother that good positive example, I... Then you will help her, but I 'm a pretty realistic-bordering-on-negative person and. Probably too negative as saying hi to her that she went alone so waited... This relationship to work it on the phone with her, and you d! And we spend together 4-6 days a week in mind, it was and... Drained and tired each time you meet her you 'll be eager to either defend yourself or explain.. Problem for 5 minutes around for my friend, '' the woman remarked ever...

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